What Surrogacy Taught Me

When people ask why I founded SoCal Surrogacy Support, my answer is simple:

Because I've lived it.

I'm Beckie Henselmeier, a three-time gestational surrogate who had the incredible privilege of helping two families welcome three beautiful children into the world. Becoming a surrogate has been one of the greatest honors of my life—but it also taught me that surrogacy is about so much more than medical appointments and milestones.

It's a journey filled with hope, uncertainty, patience, joy, and moments that can feel overwhelming.

My first surrogacy journey began just before the COVID-19 pandemic. Like so many families during that time, we experienced unexpected isolation. Milestones that should have been shared were often experienced from a distance, and many parts of the journey felt lonelier than anyone anticipated.

Then there were the medical challenges.

Preparing for embryo transfer required months of medications, multiple treatment delays, and a hysteroscopy before we were finally ready. My second journey brought two heartbreaking failed embryo transfers—a chemical pregnancy followed by another unsuccessful attempt. We regrouped, completed another hysteroscopy, and prepared one final embryo. Thankfully, that transfer resulted in a healthy pregnancy.

My third and final journey came with its own unexpected obstacle: a subchorionic hematoma early in the pregnancy that left everyone anxiously hoping for the best. Thankfully, that journey also ended with a healthy baby and another grateful family.

Looking back, I realize these experiences taught me something invaluable.

They taught me that every surrogacy journey is unique.

They taught me that setbacks don't define the outcome.

They taught me that communication matters.

They taught me that having someone in your corner can make all the difference.

Those lessons became the foundation of SoCal Surrogacy Support.

Today, my mission has evolved beyond attending appointments. As a Surrogacy Concierge & Journey Advocate, I partner with intended parents, surrogates, agencies, fertility clinics, and attorneys to provide personalized guidance, compassionate advocacy, and hands-on support throughout every stage of the journey.

I don't replace agencies.

I don't replace attorneys.

I don't replace fertility clinics.

I collaborate with them to ensure that everyone—especially intended parents and surrogates—feels informed, supported, and never alone.

Because while surrogacy creates families, it also creates relationships. My goal is to help make those relationships stronger through trust, communication, and compassionate care.

If there's one thing surrogacy taught me, it's this:

No one should navigate a surrogacy journey alone.

If you're preparing for your own journey—or you're an agency or fertility professional looking for a trusted concierge partner—I would be honored to walk alongside you.

Let's build your village together.