Building Your Surrogacy Village: Who’s in Your Corner?
Why Surrogacy Takes a Village
Family building through surrogacy is not only a very personal decision—it’s also a significant financial investment. In the United States, a surrogacy journey can cost $150,000–$250,000 or more depending on the circumstances. And that doesn’t even account for the emotional and physical investment that comes with the journey.
Like any other significant investment in life, having the right team makes all the difference. Most surrogacy journeys involve a fertility clinic or reproductive endocrinology team, an attorney, a mental health professional, and, in many cases, a surrogacy agency. As a surrogacy concierge, I am not a required part of that team. Instead, my role is to be an additional layer of support—an extra set of hands, eyes, and ears to help Intended Parents and gestational surrogates feel informed, prepared, and supported throughout their journey.
The Role of the Agency
A surrogacy agency often acts as the project manager throughout a surrogacy journey. Many agencies facilitate the matching process between Intended Parents and gestational surrogates, gather necessary documentation, and help coordinate the various steps involved in the journey.
They may also help surrogates navigate the process of medical screening and psychological clearance, coordinate communication between the different parties, and help keep the journey moving forward. Their work is invaluable in helping Intended Parents and gestational surrogates navigate what can be a complicated process.
The Role of the Attorney
Attorneys in the surrogacy space are responsible for protecting the legal interests of the parties involved. They work within the laws of the applicable state or country to help ensure that everyone understands their rights, responsibilities, and contractual obligations.
They also help address legal questions or concerns that may arise along the way and step in when something doesn't go according to plan. Especially in today's legal and political climate, having knowledgeable legal representation is critical to protecting everyone involved in a surrogacy journey.
The Role of the Medical Team
Your medical team is the backbone of the medical side of your surrogacy journey. Fertility specialists work with Intended Parents through the embryo-creation process and help coordinate the medical screening and preparation involved in a gestational surrogacy.
Once a surrogate is medically cleared, the fertility team helps prepare for embryo transfer and monitors the pregnancy during the early stages. From fertility treatment through pregnancy, your medical providers play an essential role in keeping the surrogate and baby healthy and safe.
The Role of Mental Health Professionals
Mental health professionals help assess readiness for a surrogacy journey and provide an important layer of emotional support. They may conduct psychological screenings, help individuals understand what they may encounter during the journey, and provide a safe space to process the emotions that can come with surrogacy.
Surrogacy can bring up complicated feelings and experiences—for Intended Parents and surrogates alike. Having a mental health professional available throughout the journey can provide support for those moments and care that addresses the emotional and psychological side of family building.
Where Concierge Support Fits
So, where does concierge support fit?
Each member of your surrogacy team has a specific role. Together, they help create the foundation for a successful journey—but each professional also has a particular area of responsibility.
As a surrogacy concierge, my focus is you.
I can help bridge communication gaps, assist with paperwork and logistics, provide practical support, attend appointments, coordinate transportation, and advocate for the needs of Intended Parents and surrogates when appropriate. But more than anything, my role is to walk alongside you.
Having been a surrogate three times myself, I know what it feels like to move through the emotional highs and lows of a surrogacy journey. I understand that sometimes you don't need another professional—you need someone who can sit beside you, help you think through your questions, find the next step, or simply remind you that you're not doing this alone.
My goal is to provide educational, practical, and advocacy-based support so you can feel more confident and secure as you navigate your journey.
Why Local Support Matters
What does “local support” actually mean? For SoCal Surrogacy Support, it means more than simply having a Southern California address. I don’t want to just say I’m local—I want to know local.
San Diego is home, and I’ve spent years living, working, raising my family, navigating the freeways, and building relationships throughout the community. That means I understand the places, logistics, and little details that can make a big difference when you're navigating a surrogacy journey—especially when you're traveling from another state or country.
Local support means having someone who can actually be there: someone who can coordinate logistics, show up for an appointment, help navigate the hospital experience, or simply be a familiar face in an unfamiliar place.
My service area currently includes San Diego, Orange County, and Riverside County, allowing me to provide the hands-on, personalized support that makes concierge care truly concierge.
I’m not trying to be everywhere. I want to be really good at being HERE.
Because sometimes the greatest luxury isn't having more people. It's having the right person, in the right place, when you need them.
Southern California is my home, and I'd love to help make it feel a little more like home for you.
Why Every Journey Needs Something Different
Every surrogacy journey is different, and every person comes to the process with their own needs, questions, circumstances, and comfort level. That's why my support is customized to each individual journey.
Some clients may only need virtual support as they navigate questions and make decisions about the steps and processes they're encountering. Others may want in-person support for critical appointments throughout a pregnancy. Some may need additional support during the third trimester and after birth—from hospital orientation and delivery logistics to paperwork, birth certificates, passports, and navigating the local community.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to concierge support, and I don't believe there should be. My goal is to meet you where you are and provide the support that makes sense for your journey.
Ultimately, I want everyone I work with to feel informed, prepared, heard, and supported.
Because surrogacy isn't transactional. It's deeply personal.
How to Know What Type of Concierge Support You Need
The truth is, you may not know what kind of support you need until you're in the middle of your journey—and that's okay.
Maybe you're an Intended Parent traveling to Southern California for the first time and need someone who understands the local landscape. Maybe you're a surrogate who feels confident about the medical side of pregnancy but wants someone beside you for important appointments. Maybe you're approaching delivery and suddenly realize there are a hundred details to think about—from hospital logistics and paperwork to birth certificates and passports. Or maybe you simply want someone who understands surrogacy firsthand and can be a sounding board when you have questions.
That's where concierge support can fit. You don't have to need support with everything to benefit from having the right person in your corner. My role is to listen to what you need, identify where the gaps are, and create support around your journey—not force your journey into a predetermined package.
“Why Concierge? Because the Little Things Matter.”
When you embark on a surrogacy journey, it’s usually the big moments that get all the attention!
The transfer day. The first positive pregnancy test. The heartbeat confirmation. The first ultrasound. Graduation from the fertility clinic. The first OB appointment. And the birth.
These are the moments that get celebrated, photographed, shared, and remembered. And it’s all for good reason! The milestones help us anchor and celebrate what is happening: a family is being formed!
But then ask the question: But what happens between those milestones?
That’s where the story gets quieter.
And that’s where concierge support can make a meaningful difference.
A surrogacy journey isn't made up of a handful of appointments. It's made up of weeks and months of waiting, wondering, scheduling, communicating, preparing, traveling, navigating appointments, and figuring out what comes next.
There are questions that fall outside the role of one particular professional. There are moments when a surrogate or intended parent simply needs someone to help them understand what comes next, prepare for an appointment, coordinate the details, or feel a little more grounded.
There are moments when a surrogate might think:
"Is this normal?"
"What happens next?"
"Who do I ask?"
"I wish someone could come with me."
And sometimes, the need isn't a big one. Sometimes it's just the little things.
No two surrogacy journeys are exactly alike and extra support makes the difference.
Some clients need support during a few key milestones. Others want someone alongside them throughout the journey. Some surrogates want an advocate who understands the experience because she's been there herself.
That's why SoCal Surrogacy Support doesn't believe in a one-size-fits-all approach. My concierge services are designed around your journey, your needs, and the level of support that feels right for you. As a three-time gestational surrogate and former Assistant Cycle Coordinator, I bring both lived experience and professional experience to every journey I support.
Sometimes this support is in-person at your milestone moments, and sometimes it means helping coordinate logistics and keep the communication across your team seamless. Sometimes that support looks like coaching and preparing for the birth and hospital experience — the big finale after months of preparation, anticipation, and waiting. Sometimes, my support looks like offering emotional encouragement, educational resources, or even just a hand to hold during the highs and lows of a surrogacy journey.
My approach is simple: personalized, hands-on, in-person support that meets you where you are in your journey. A concierge isn't there to take over the journey. I’m here to make the journey feel a little less overwhelming.
During a surrogacy pregnancy, you often see the milestone moments, but there are also those moments that don’t make it in the “baby book!”
Imagine you're a surrogate. You're driving to an appointment and walking into an unfamiliar office. You're sitting in a waiting room, trying to remember the questions you wanted to ask and wondering what happens next. You're handed a mountain of paperwork and you're not quite sure what everything means.
Then you finally go back into the room.
And the appointment doesn't go exactly as planned.
The information your medical team is sharing isn't the news you were hoping for.
And suddenly, this isn't just another appointment. It's a moment you have to process, understand, and communicate to your Intended Parents.
And you think:
“I wish someone were here.”
These are the moments I was thinking about when I created SoCal Surrogacy Support!
These aren't necessarily the moments that make it onto Instagram. But they're still part of the journey. And they matter.
As someone that’s been a surrogate myself, I feel passionate about walking alongside surrogates and intended parents on their surrogacy journeys! Because sometimes having someone beside you changes the experience.
A big part of my philosophy is that concierge is not competition. My work is not about replacing the agency, attorney, fertility specialist, or your medical team. It’s about filling the spaces between them.
For surrogates, that may mean having someone physically present.
For Intended Parents, it may mean having someone local who can help with logistics, communication, appointments, or those moments when they simply can't be there themselves.
Different roles. One shared goal: making the journey feel supported.
Because no one should navigate surrogacy alone.
SoCal Surrogacy Support was created because surrogacy isn’t transactional—it’s personal.
Walking this path myself, I saw an opportunity for something different.
Something more personal.
Something local.
Something hands-on.
Something that could meet people where they are in the journey—not just at the major milestones.
Why concierge? Because the big moments matter. But so do the moments in between.
The appointments. The questions. The logistics. The waiting. The uncertainty. The celebrations. The little things. Because a surrogacy journey isn't just about getting from transfer to birth. It's about everything that happens along the way. And sometimes, having someone there to help with the little things makes all the difference.
The milestones mark the journey. The little things are what carry you through it. That's why concierge.
Because surrogates deserve someone in their corner.
One of the questions I hear most often is, 'Why would someone become a surrogate?'
It's a fair question.
The answer is simple: because someone else's dream becomes worth carrying.
The reality of this incredible role is that surrogates spend nearly a year focused on someone else's dream. They prepare their bodies. They rearrange schedules. They attend appointments. They take medications. They answer countless questions. They carry the emotional weight of helping another family grow.
And while everyone is understandably focused on the baby...
Who's making sure the surrogate feels cared for?
Having been a gestational surrogate three times, I know firsthand that surrogacy is one of the most rewarding experiences imaginable. It is one of the biggest honors of my life to know that my body contributed to helping another family be made whole! They have all become life-long pieces of my extended family.
I also know it isn't always easy. The emotional side of surrogacy is often the part people see the least. But when I was waiting for medical clearances. And waiting for my body to be ready to move forward towards embryo transfer. Or when I was taking my daily injections and felt sore and sensitive. When I had to process the loss of a failed transfer - twice - it was a lot to process.
All the while the life you have with your own family continues. You do school pick-ups, birthday parties, and family functions all while carrying a belly for another family. It is a mixed bag. But there’s purpose to your pursuit and that’s what makes every surrogate truly special!
When people see a surrogate, they see what’s happening on the outside, not the inside. They see the growing belly, the developing relationship, the busy schedule of appointments and surrogacy related commitments.
But they don’t always see the long nervous drives hoping this will work. They don’t see the confusion when suddenly the pregnancy failed knowing you’ve done this before. They don’t see the new issues that arise in this pregnancy and the emotional toll that it takes to make lifestyle changes for another family. They don’t see the challenge surrogates face when explaining their hope and joy with their own family or even strangers who don’t fully understand.
Carrying hope for another family is both wonderful and challenging. The emotional highs and lows, even in the best of circumstances, are exactly why surrogates need support.. Not just someone to placid them but that truly understands because they have walked in those shoes before.
That's one of the reasons I created SoCal Surrogacy Support as a Surrogacy Concierge & Journey Advocate.
Because while agencies coordinate journeys…
and clinics provide medical care…
and attorneys protect legal interests...
I wanted someone whose only job was making sure the surrogate never felt alone. That's what concierge support is really about—not taking over the journey, but making sure no one has to navigate it by themselves.
So, what does that actually mean? The role of a surrogacy concierge and journey advocate looks different each and every time, because it’s personalized care and support.
Sometimes this role means I virtually coach and prepare prospective surrogates about what a surrogacy journey entails. Helping develop questions for the process and make sure they’re supported in their decision making so they feel confident and understand what lies ahead.
Other times this role means attending critical appointments with a surrogate like sitting beside her during an embryo transfer. Or helping prepare for a heart-beat confirmation. Or being present during the difficulties of a failed transfer. Or occasionally it means answering a question a surrogate doesn’t know who to ask; feeling confident that I will be honest and compassionate in supporting her through this process. Often it means celebrating milestones and being the communication hub to keep everyone on the same page.
Occasionally this role means advocating for a surrogate or family when something doesn’t feel right. Making sure that everyone is safe, heard, and supported in every step of their journey. Sometimes, my role is to simply remind her that she’s doing an incredible thing and I’m by her side!
Surrogates spend so much of their journey caring for someone else's family.
I believe someone should also be caring for them.
Becoming a surrogate doesn't mean you stop needing encouragement. It doesn’t mean you have all the answers to each step and know what the best decision is for that moment. It doesn't mean you stop having questions. It doesn't mean you stop needing someone to celebrate with you… or sit beside you when things get hard. That's why I became a Surrogacy Concierge & Journey Advocate.
Because no woman helping build someone else's family should ever feel like she's walking the journey alone.
If you're considering becoming a surrogate—or are already on your journey—I would be honored to walk alongside you.
Whether you simply have questions or are looking for personalized concierge support, you don't have to navigate this journey alone.
Because no one should.
Why Concierge?
Because surrogates deserve more than excellent medical care—they deserve someone who knows the journey, celebrates every milestone, advocates when needed, and reminds them they're never walking it alone.
What Surrogacy Taught Me
When people ask why I founded SoCal Surrogacy Support, my answer is simple:
Because I've lived it.
I'm Beckie Henselmeier, a three-time gestational surrogate who had the incredible privilege of helping two families welcome three beautiful children into the world. Becoming a surrogate has been one of the greatest honors of my life—but it also taught me that surrogacy is about so much more than medical appointments and milestones.
It's a journey filled with hope, uncertainty, patience, joy, and moments that can feel overwhelming.
My first surrogacy journey began just before the COVID-19 pandemic. Like so many families during that time, we experienced unexpected isolation. Milestones that should have been shared were often experienced from a distance, and many parts of the journey felt lonelier than anyone anticipated.
Then there were the medical challenges.
Preparing for embryo transfer required months of medications, multiple treatment delays, and a hysteroscopy before we were finally ready. My second journey brought two heartbreaking failed embryo transfers—a chemical pregnancy followed by another unsuccessful attempt. We regrouped, completed another hysteroscopy, and prepared one final embryo. Thankfully, that transfer resulted in a healthy pregnancy.
My third and final journey came with its own unexpected obstacle: a subchorionic hematoma early in the pregnancy that left everyone anxiously hoping for the best. Thankfully, that journey also ended with a healthy baby and another grateful family.
Looking back, I realize these experiences taught me something invaluable.
They taught me that every surrogacy journey is unique.
They taught me that setbacks don't define the outcome.
They taught me that communication matters.
They taught me that having someone in your corner can make all the difference.
Those lessons became the foundation of SoCal Surrogacy Support.
Today, my mission has evolved beyond attending appointments. As a Surrogacy Concierge & Journey Advocate, I partner with intended parents, surrogates, agencies, fertility clinics, and attorneys to provide personalized guidance, compassionate advocacy, and hands-on support throughout every stage of the journey.
I don't replace agencies.
I don't replace attorneys.
I don't replace fertility clinics.
I collaborate with them to ensure that everyone—especially intended parents and surrogates—feels informed, supported, and never alone.
Because while surrogacy creates families, it also creates relationships. My goal is to help make those relationships stronger through trust, communication, and compassionate care.
If there's one thing surrogacy taught me, it's this:
No one should navigate a surrogacy journey alone.
If you're preparing for your own journey—or you're an agency or fertility professional looking for a trusted concierge partner—I would be honored to walk alongside you.
Let's build your village together.
Beyond Medical Care: The Support Surrogates Truly Need During Their Journey
1. Opening: New Beginnings in Surrogacy
January is often a season of planning, intention-setting, and new beginnings. In the surrogacy space, this is especially true—many journeys begin this way, filled with hope, readiness, and unknowns.
As someone who has walked alongside individuals and couples pursuing assisted reproduction—and as a three-time surrogate myself—I believe deeply in the foundation of medical care and case management. But I also know they are not the full picture. That belief is why I created SoCal Surrogacy Support.
Before the contracts, transfers, and ultrasounds, there is something equally essential to consider: surrogacy doesn’t just require clinical excellence—it requires human-centered support.
2. Where Clinical Care Excels—and Where It Naturally Ends
As a three-time surrogate myself, I cannot express enough gratitude for the extraordinary care I experienced from the clinical team. Not only with the medical monitoring, determining and then adjusting medical protocols, and their overall expertise - but also helping me navigate the challenges of preparing my body and cycles for a surrogacy journey, navigating the what and they whys after failed transfers, and even experiencing a subchorionic hematoma - their care was exceptional.
I also owe a debt of gratitude to the agency that supported me through my journey. Answering my questions honestly and helping me understand this new world as a surrogate was incredibly supportive. When there were challenges with contracts, navigating insurance, and medical billing, I knew I wasn’t in this alone and that made me confident in their partnership and coordination of my journeys.
And let’s give a round of applause for the legal care! While my journeys were fairly straightforward, I have seen other cases where legal was incredibly important - both in protecting the surrogates and in protecting the IPs. They truly have your back in the best of ways and ensure the best interests of everyone involved.
And yet—none of these roles are designed to provide consistent emotional presence inside the lived experience of a surrogate. This isn’t a failure of the system—it’s a natural gap. And hence the reason I founded SoCal Surrogacy Support. My goal is to provide in person, real-time emotional support, advocacy, and communication to everyone involved in a surrogacy journey. Because a supported journey is a successful journey.
3. What Surrogates Consistently Need More Of
As a surrogacy support professional, I stand by my work because I have lived in these shoes. In my personal and professional experience, I believe that having someone to sit in the uncertainty between appointments is critical. While we never plan for challenging situations, these circumstances are not immune to happening during surrogacy. And sometimes, just having a support partner that understands and provides emotional support, communicating in real-time, and at times even advocating for surrogates and IPs can make a momentous difference.
While clinics, agencies, and lawyers work hard to be supportive, their responsibilities are often time-bound and scope-limited. Emotional processing doesn’t always fit neatly into a clinical or legal timeline. This is where my role exists—to provide presence during uncertainty, support during plan changes, and clear communication when emotions and information feel overwhelming.
When surrogates experience changes in the “plan,” or even have difficulty understanding what’s being shared via their various medical appointments, I am able to step in and help translate the medical jargon and share critical information so everyone is on the same page and confident moving forward. When plans change - calm and clear communication makes a huge difference.
Finally, as I experienced as a surrogate myself, IPs are often only physically present towards the end of the journey. My role also supports their journey by being physically present to share communications, capture milestone moments of their surrogacy pregnancy, and advocate for their wishes and rights during a surrogacy journey.
Surrogates are capable, committed, and resilient—but they are still human. Support does not replace professionalism; it strengthens it.
4. Emotional Support as a Protective Factor
While I have been part of the surrogacy community for almost a decade, I am admittedly still new in the professional space. A question I’m often asked by professionals is where my role fits—and whether it overlaps with existing support systems. It’s an important question.
My role is to be a complement - not a competition to the work - that so many surrogacy professionals already do. Emotional support acts as a protective factor in surrogacy journeys. When emotional overwhelm is addressed early, communication improves, trust strengthens, and challenges are navigated with greater clarity. This ultimately benefits everyone involved.
5. Where SoCal Surrogacy Support Fits
So what does SoCal Surrogacy Support do and how do I fit in? I’m glad you asked! SoCal Surrogacy Support provides appointment-based, in-person emotional support during key moments of a surrogacy journey.
I provide in-person support during:
Medical screenings & transfers
Heartbeat confirmations & ultrasounds
Hospital births
Post-birth documentation support
My role is rooted in advocacy and bridging the communication gap between all parties involved. And a bonus is that I act as a consistent point of human contact and support throughout the journey. In short, my work is designed to complement - not replace - agencies, clinics, mental health professionals, and lawyers. SoCal Surrogacy is an added layer of care focused on the lived experience.
6. Collaboration Creates Better Outcomes
The surrogacy space for professionals often feels like there is a lot of work without the time to help everyone. Most of those in this industry are heart and soul believers in this work! It’s not just a job - it’s a passion.
And I’m in there with you! When surrogates feel emotionally supported, communication improves. Clearer communication reduces strain on agencies and clinics. Emotional processing supports better decision-making and lowers anxiety throughout the journey.
7. Closing Reflection: A New Standard of Care
Surrogacy continues to evolve—and so should how we support it. Medical care will always be essential. Emotional support should be too. Collaboration partnerships allow each professional to work within their strengths and do this work well.
If you are interested in working with me and SoCal Surrogacy Support, reach me via the link in my bio to schedule a consultation.
Surrogacy works best when medical excellence and human support move forward together.
The Emotional Side of Surrogacy
Surrogacy Changed My Life — Here’s Why Support Matters
Surrogacy has quite literally changed my life. As a three-time surrogate, I had the blessing and privilege of carrying three surro-babes for two different families. My work now in the surrogacy space is deeply informed by that lived experience — and by the belief that a well-supported journey benefits both surrogates and intended parents. Surrogacy is beautiful, powerful, and also surprisingly emotional. Let’s explore the emotional side of surrogacy.
My Three Surrogacy Journeys: The Highs, Lows, and Everything In Between
Each of my surrogacy journeys was unique and carried its own emotional and physical challenges.
My first journey unfolded during Covid — transfer in January 2020, delivery in October 2020. But even before the pandemic, the emotional rollercoaster had already begun. After removing my hormonal IUD, month after month of monitoring revealed my uterine lining wasn’t responding as expected. After a hysteroscopy, we finally transferred in January 2020. Each month of “not yet” felt like a setback. My intended parents were gracious and supportive, but it was a lot for all of us to process.
My second journey with a new family brought its own surprises. We knew which medication protocol worked best for my body… so it should’ve been smooth sailing, right? Not at all. We transferred twice — and neither resulted in pregnancy. It was devastating and confusing. I had successfully carried three pregnancies; why was this different? But with patient, hopeful IPs, we tried once more with their last precious embryo — and it stuck. Two years and two days after my previous surro-babe, I delivered their miracle.
My last journey — my retirement round — began smoothly with an easy transfer and positive confirmation. But at just five weeks, I began bleeding heavily. I feared the worst. At the clinic, I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma. The bleed measured 3 mm; the embryo was only 0.83 mm. And yet, miraculously, there was a heartbeat. After six more weeks of bleeding and monitoring, we finally turned the corner.
There are countless details I could share, but the truth is this: surrogacy is a blessing, a miracle, and an emotional endeavor. Becoming a surrogate requires a kind of armor you don’t realize you’ll need until you’re wearing it. My work with SoCal Surrogacy Support is built from that lived truth — that supported journeys matter.
The Joy and the Weight: Surrogacy’s Emotional Duality
Many surrogates begin this path because they want to help grow a family, enjoy pregnancy, or wish to support their own through compensation. But what’s often less discussed are the emotional and physical challenges that can arise — challenges no one can predict. Surrogacy is both joy and weight, light and responsibility.
So how do you navigate that duality with grace? Support.
Someone to celebrate the heartbeat confirmation, transfer day excitement, and the delivery of a long-awaited baby. And someone to help you weather the delays, failed cycles, injections, and emotional fatigue. Support doesn’t remove the hard parts — but it helps you move through them.
How Support Transforms the Surrogacy Experience
My role as a surrogacy support agent is simple: to ensure surrogates and intended parents never walk this journey alone. Through in-person attendance at milestone appointments, clear communication, advocacy, and collaboration with agencies, clinics, and attorneys, I help reduce overwhelm and strengthen the human experience of the journey.
My work is designed to complement — not compete with — the incredible professionals who make surrogacy possible. And while we always plan for smooth sailing, it’s the unexpected moments when support matters most. My promise is to walk with you, providing grounded, compassionate support throughout your journey.
Hope in the Darkness: Surrogacy and the Emotional Season of December
I’m writing this in the middle of the holiday season — a time of brightness and celebration wrapped in the cold and darkness of December. Surrogacy often mirrors this: profound hope woven into moments of uncertainty. Those who walk this path are brave and deserving of support, and I am honored to offer it.
You Deserve Support — You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
If you’re navigating the emotional side of surrogacy, you deserve to feel supported, understood, and never alone. If this message resonates and you think I might be a good fit for your journey, please reach out. I would be honored to be part of your story.
Who’s Who in Surrogacy: Agencies, Clinics, Lawyers… and Support
Surrogacy takes a village — from medical specialists to legal experts — but one important role often gets overlooked: the person providing emotional support and guidance every step of the way.
As a three-time surrogate myself, I learned firsthand how essential that role truly is. SoCal Surrogacy Support was born from my lived experience — the love, challenges, and transformation that come with surrogacy. While we always hope for smooth journeys, sometimes bumps arise along the way, and no one should face those moments alone.
The Agency
Surrogacy agencies are like the project managers of a surrogacy journey — coordinating everything from medical screenings to legal arrangements and, most importantly, helping to match surrogates and intended parents. Yes, it’s a little like matchmaking — finding the right blend of personalities, goals, and values to create a strong foundation for a successful partnership.
Agencies handle the logistics: scheduling screenings, working with mental health professionals, connecting surrogates with lawyers, and ensuring that all requirements are met before the baby arrives. They are the glue that holds the process together and help keep everything organized and on track.
However, while agencies are incredible at managing the details, their focus is primarily on logistics — not always on the emotional or day-to-day support that surrogates and intended parents may need throughout their journey.
The Fertility Clinic
The medical experts at fertility clinics handle the science of surrogacy. This team includes:
Reproductive Endocrinologist (REI): The lead fertility doctor who oversees screenings, embryo transfers, and pregnancy confirmation.
Nurse Coordinator / IVF Nurse: The surrogate’s main contact for medication schedules, monitoring, and appointments.
Sonographer (Ultrasound Technician): Performs ultrasounds during screening, lining checks, and early pregnancy.
Phlebotomist / Lab Technician: Draws blood for hormone levels and other lab work.
Embryologist: Manages embryo creation, freezing, and transfer preparation.
Andrologist: Handles sperm collection and preparation.
Medical Assistants: Support patient prep and coordination during visits.
This team makes the miracle of surrogacy possible — they are the guardians of the medical side of the process. But once a pregnancy is confirmed and the surrogate “graduates” to her regular OB, their role typically concludes.
The Lawyer
A surrogacy lawyer protects everyone involved. They draft and review contracts, establish parental rights, and ensure that the process remains ethical and secure. Their work ensures that everyone’s rights are respected and that if challenges arise, there’s a clear path forward.
While their role is vital, it’s also focused on the legal aspects — not the emotional or day-to-day support that can make all the difference during a surrogacy journey.
The Support Role — SoCal Surrogacy Support
At SoCal, my work complements — not replaces — the incredible efforts of agencies, clinics, and lawyers. My role is to make the journey more human, heart-centered, and supported from start to finish.
I walk alongside surrogates and intended parents throughout their journeys — attending key appointments, helping translate medical language into real understanding, and offering reassurance in real time. I serve as a bridge for clear communication between everyone involved, ensuring that no one feels left behind or unheard.
This work matters because when surrogates and intended parents feel supported, everyone wins. My lived experience fuels my belief that empathy and compassion are essential parts of every successful surrogacy journey.
Why Collaboration Matters
Each professional plays a crucial role. When all parts of the team work together, the experience becomes smoother, more joyful, and more compassionate for everyone involved.
This month, at the SEEDS Conference, I was reminded just how deeply everyone in this field cares about helping families grow. Collaboration isn’t just ideal — it’s essential.
If you’re an intended parent, surrogate, or fertility professional who believes in compassionate collaboration, I’d love to connect. Together, we can make every journey one of strength, joy, and genuine support.
Surrogacy Myths vs. Reality: What You Really Need to Know
It all begins with an idea.
Surrogacy Myths vs. Reality: What You Really Need to Know
My name is Beckie Henselmeier, founder of SoCal Surrogacy Support. As a three-time surrogate myself, I started this company to provide the kind of personal, hands-on support that goes beyond medical care, legal guidance, or the coordination offered by surrogacy agencies.
My role is to walk alongside surrogates and intended parents throughout their journey — offering compassion, advocacy, and understanding every step of the way.
Surrogacy is a beautiful and often misunderstood path. Let’s break down some of the most common myths and uncover the truth behind them.
Myth 1: Surrogates are “giving up their baby.”
One of the first qualifications to become a surrogate is having had at least one child of your own. Surrogates are not biologically linked to the baby they carry. Intended parents create embryos through a fertilization process under the direction of fertility specialists.
So, surrogates aren’t “giving up” anything — they’re helping another family bring their baby into the world.
When a surrogate delivers that long-awaited baby, it’s not a moment of loss but one of awe and pure joy — witnessing the intended parents meet their child for the very first time. While surrogates carry the pregnancy, parenthood belongs entirely to the intended parents.
Myth 2: Surrogacy is an easy process.
Surrogacy is life-changing and deeply rewarding — but it’s not easy. It’s an emotional, physical, and logistical journey that requires resilience and heart.
From passing medical and psychological screenings to following strict medication protocols, coordinating timing, signing contracts, and building a relationship with intended parents — every step takes intention and patience.
In my own journeys, I faced plenty of challenges. I underwent two hysteroscopies, learned how my body responded to different medications, and eventually had to switch to a natural cycle. It took time — and a lot of waiting. I even became pregnant right before a global pandemic!
During my second journey, I experienced two failed transfers before a successful one — a heartbreaking emotional hurdle. And in my final journey, at just five weeks pregnant, I began bleeding heavily. It turned out to be a subchorionic hematoma, a common but scary complication in IVF pregnancies.
Through it all, I was able to deliver three healthy babies for two incredible families. I’m grateful for the strength of my body, the trust of my intended parents, and the beauty of the surrogacy process.
Myth 3: Only “certain” people can be surrogates.
Surrogates come from all walks of life. What they share in common is a love for pregnancy and a desire to help others experience parenthood.
Each surrogate’s motivation is unique — whether it’s the joy of helping another family grow or the opportunity to support their own family through the journey’s benefits. But at the heart of it, surrogates are simply people who want to make a difference.
Myth 4: Everyone will understand and support your choice.
While surrogacy is more accepted today, there are still misconceptions and stigma surrounding it. That’s why a strong foundation of support is so important — from family, friends, and trusted professionals.
As a surrogacy support agent, that’s where I come in. My role is to normalize the emotions and experiences that come with this unique journey — to listen, to guide, and to remind you that your choice is valid and powerful.
Because at the end of the day, the only opinion that truly matters is yours.
Fact: Surrogacy support matters.
My role isn’t to replace your fertility clinic, agency, or attorney — it’s to complement them. I provide an extra layer of emotional and practical support throughout the process — because I’ve lived it, and I know how much it matters.
Being a surrogate is special. It’s life-changing. And you should never have to walk that journey alone.
Surrogacy has forever changed my life, and I am honored to have done it three times. I believe women are superheroes — and that surrogacy is one of the most beautiful and transformational experiences we can share.
If you’d like to learn more about how I can support your journey, I’d love to connect. 💕